Risking YES

There’s something bold & magical about saying “YES” to the imperfections of your life.  Make no mistake ~ authentic living is messy; things go awry; yet stumbling upon the “YES” word can be revelatory!

I’m intrigued by the gaps, the spaces and places between, the times of feeling “OFF” or “EMPTY” (where light can enter).  For most people there are “speed bumps” to joy, strict standards for creativity or other inhibitors.

Time and travel have helped illuminate the paradox of privilege and a distinct connection between risk-taking and joy,  i.e.  the ecstasy of roads less travelled; the art and exhiliration of “bushwhacking” and path finding.

When we’ve been striving to excel at inherited lives, habits of perfectionism don’t wash away easily. Doubt, skepticism, mistrust whisper as we confront relentless opportunities to be “wrong,” “not enough,” or say “NO” to ourselves.

Embracing life unconditionally takes practice. It helps to have “the Goddess of Self-Compassion” along for the ride: encouraging us to resist comparison, give ourselves deep rest, bounce back, allow for wiggle room… i.e.  say “YES” to ourselves…)

Empowered by “YES,” this magical moment becomes taste-able, explore-able, honor-able, appreciate-able.  Re-oriented to satisfaction, we can  claim our fertile ground of joy. Wholehearted, “YES” living isn´t easy, yet sunshine pours out of gaps where we´ve let go of ideas for how things should be.

YOUR TURN:

Experiment by saying “NO” as a contrast.  Bring to mind a situation that elicits frustration, fear or sadness.  Try saying “No” while pushing this away.  Aware of sensations in your stomach, chest or throat, imagine what your life might be like if you continue on this path with thoughts and feelings of “NO.”

Recall this same unpleasant situation* and allow your natural reactions to be experienced within a larger field of “YES.” What happens to the unpleasantness? What happens in your heart? How might your world be if you brought the power and effervescence of “YES” to inevitable challenges and sorrows?

note: when saying yes to something, go ahead and schedule it in your calendar during work hours and set your “concentration app” so that you have 1-2 hrs. devoted to that project.

NOYES

 

 

 

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Measure of FULLNESS

Healing is not something we usually ‘directly’ control. In my work as a body-centered leadership & transition coach, I encourage clients to think in new and different terms:  the ‘FULLNESS’, their engagement in life; their openness to learning, growing, expanding, loving, creating, and being held… as alternative words for health.

 

Fullness is the best definition for health that I know of. It’s a measure of QUALITY of life: Are you OFF TRACK or BANG IN IT?  Are you ENGAGED in finding your path – the work you are here to do? Are you showing up? Feeling supported? Taking risks? Making experiments to discover what works and how FULL you can be? OR are you hiding, fading, sacrificing, ignoring or leaving your path? 

 

How much we strengthen or lessen our fullness (health) is most often a matter of getting out of our own way. It involves stepping back from an unconscious habit, a need to please or oppose others, or prove an old story or inherited belief system to be right…)

 

FULLNESS requires expanded perception as well as a solid container which comes from having clear boundaries and commitments. The commitment to show up and learn, to let go of resistance to clear away confusion about love and/or creativity and thereby expand … requires support, buckets of self kindness, and a strong, clear commitment to show up fully. 

 

Satisfaction and well being in our Work, Creativity and Relationships are not destinations… Each is a path, along which we sometimes loose our footing and sometimes bump into fear. At times we are simply “OFF”. Yet, we can remain true to our path as long as we keep CHOOSING for it. We are never not in relationship to a path or a person – it’s only a question of QUALITY! 

 

How committed, empowered, supported you are in your path determines the QUALITY you ENJOY. Is living at street level sufficient or do you prefer a view… or even better the penthouse… it’s your choice!

 

A higher quality of experience requires expanding your repertoire towards a full spectrum including lightness, trust, gentleness, acceptance, receptivity…) The aim is not perfection, but authenticity, resonance and a willingness to experiment…) towards a higher level of participation with awareness of CHOICE at all times.

 

Are you invested in your path, your theme, your conversation? Supported to stick with it, go deep, be tenacious, robust, even fierce at times with yourself and others… Or do you allow yourself to slide? To be blocked by difficult people? Distracted by unintended results? Tolerating less-than-rewarding environments? Swayed or disappointed by outside forces?

 

Lacking support, one has less vision and perspective, less strength and joy… more likely to be intimidated, distracted or weakened by something or someone we usually have little control over. Invested in and focused on what is in our control is what determines the quality, sustainability and measure of our FULLNESS and health.

 

 

 YOUR TURN

On a 1-10  scale:

What is the measure of your fullness:  at home?  at work?                                                     Are you on your path?                                                                                                                                       Are you being supported?                                                                                                                                        Are you showing up?

           Are you BANG IN IT?

FULLNESS

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